Shampoo, why do you lie so much?

A funny poem about shampoo, from Midlife Dramas in PyjamasShampoo why do you lie so much?
What makes you promise me,
That using you will make my hair
The hair I want to see?

You show me lovely images
Of maidens, oh so fair.
You make me think that I can have
Their lovely, flowing hair.

You say you’ll smooth and clarify
Protect, repair and fix.
Relax, hydrate, defend from breaks
And other clever tricks.

You offer volume, body, height
And all things in between.
And obviously my hair will have
A sleek and glossy sheen.

You’ll make my hair more youthful, and
Keep signs of age at bay.
You’ll fix split ends and somehow change
The texture of the grey.

Shampoo for greasy, frizzy, dry
Or flyaway and fine.
Coloured, curly, straight or flat
But which is right for mine?

I choose one and rush home with glee,
Fling back the shower door.
I wash and dry my hair, and yet –
IT’S STILL LIKE BLOODY STRAW!!!

13 thoughts on “Shampoo, why do you lie so much?

  1. Yep, that’s about right. Now can you do one about serums which promise to make my frizzy curls into beautiful shiny ringlets. It’s my own search for the Holy Grail.

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    • OMG! Don’t get me started on serums, conditioners and hair masks etc. I’ve spent a small fortune over the years trying to find something that really works, all to no avail…Let me know if you ever find something that actually ‘does what it says on the tin’!!

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    • Having just spent a day being ‘made over’ then photographed, and air-brushed to within an inch of my life (this was a present from a friend), I now know exactly why our hair NEVER looks like the models’. I came out looking 20 years younger with dewdrop skin, a fabulous figure and glorious hair…herrumph! 🙂

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  2. Oh I’m with you! No matter what shampoo I use I still look like I’ve been dropped on by a parachute. Yet my hairdresser comes to our house and uses MY shampoo and somehow works wonders with it? I suspect witchcraft, 😉 Love this just as much on second reading. #prose4t x

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