I’ll help you love, you know I will
It’s what I always do.
We both know I’ll be writing it,
With little work from you.
You’ll tell me that you’ve made a start,
I’ll have a look – and sigh.
You’ve written date and title,
So I’ll smile and say, “Good try.”
I’ll go through plans and paragraphs,
You’ll say, “I know. I KNOW!”
“WELL DO IT THEN FOR PITY’S SAKE!
Just try, and have a go.”
I’ll leave the room to do a job,
Then pop back when you call.
I’ll find you stretched out on your bed
With legs against the wall.
“I’ve written some, look over there.”
You’ll twist your jumper round.
You’ll pull a face, and widely yawn
Then slide onto the ground.
I’ll see before me several lines;
It’s all one sentence – great!
No punctuation there at all –
You know it’s my pet hate!
“I can’t believe you’ve left this work
‘Til Sunday night AGAIN!
You drive me round the bend you know,
Pick up the bloody pen!”
I’ll talk you through and draft it out,
Consult the internet.
You’ll hand it in; I’ll sit and wait
TO SEE WHAT MARK I GET!