“You have reached your destination…”

A funny blog post about a sat nav from Midlife Dramas in PyjamasWent across town to a friend’s house. This was my first visit. Had to use sat nav to get me there. I hate sat navs. I don’t like being told what to do by a person, never mind a gadget suctioned to my windscreen!

Mine clearly needs to be updated as it thought all traffic light junctions were roundabouts – rather disconcerting being told to go round a set of traffic lights.

Negotiated my way through the centre of town, approached the  motorway then almost laughed out loud at sat nav’s instruction to bear right. “That’s a rather ridiculous instruction,” I huffed sarcastically. “I can’t do anything else but bear right!”

However, I then decided to ignore both myself and the instruction, and stay exactly where I was – with no bearing right taking place whatsoever. This meant I found myself two lanes away from the lane I wanted to be in. For some strange reason I chose to stay in this far left lane, and sail straight past the slip road on the right; whilst frantically looking back at it over my shoulder and shouting, “OH MY GOD! YOU TOLD ME TOO LATE!”

Found myself on a dual carriageway I didn’t recognise. Rather alarmingly chose to ignore the instruction to take the exit, and again sailed right past it – this time shouting, “YOU SAID EXIT IN 300 METRES! THAT WAS NO WAY 300 METRES!”

When it told me to turn around when possible I nearly threw it out of the window.

Two miles down the road I finally decided to listen to what I was being told, and dutifully followed the instructions; which took me back to the place where it had all gone wrong.

I felt I’d made my peace with the sat nav; though obviously stopped short of apologising. However, when ten minutes later it had taken me through a rabbit warren of streets, plonked me outside an industrial estate next to a field, shown me its little black and white chequered flag and told me you have reached your destination I realised who was having the last laugh…and it wasn’t me.

7 thoughts on ““You have reached your destination…”

  1. The first time I used a sat-nav, it told me to go straight on and I just blindly followed the instruction – despite it taking me through a red light. I’ve since learned to argue back.

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  2. I know what you mean – the 2 words that I dread when making a new journey using Sat nav are “re-calculating route” What’s so wrong with driving along with an AA route planner print out pressed against the steering wheel?

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  3. I like to think that behind that voice is a person trying not to go ballistic when I disobey it, which is at every turn, light, roundabout etc. I imagine I am pushing her to the limits and am always surprised the voice doesn’t scream obscenities at me. I am trying to, at this very moment attempting to change the voice to that of a man who calls me gorgeous and tells me how fabulous I am when I get it right.

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