Open Wide…

A funny post about a trip to the dentist from Midlife Dramas in PyjamasToday I was at the dentist for a filling. My dentist is young, gorgeous and always up for a bit of a chat; so returning for a filling isn’t as bad as it would be if he was ancient and brusque with bad breath and smelly armpits.

He very gently inserted the anaesthetic needle, then chatted to me while it took effect. Now, for some reason it wasn’t working as well as he’d anticipated – so more time leaning over and peering into my eyes mouth was required. Shame about the sci-fi  goggles I’d been forced to wear – not a good look under any circumstances, and certainly not aiding my attempts to look alluring.

Was very glad I was lying down when at one point – without warning – to check if the anaesthetic had finally been successful, he slowly stroked the length of my entire lower lip with his thumb. And I mean very…very…slowly. I was suddenly plunged into my very own, private version of 50 Shades of Grey… 

Finally my mouth was numb, and he proceeded with the filling; while I gazed up at him, hoping he wasn’t smearing my carefully applied make-up. Eventually he finished. I sat up to be relieved of the goggles and very fetching plastic bib, then tried to rinse and spit as elegantly as possible. I got out of the chair, picked up my coat, smiled (stopped short of winking) and left.

Coming out of his surgery I caught sight of myself in the wall mirror: hair all over the place (rubbing against the back of the chair had caused it to fall out of the clip), smudged mascara (my eyes had watered because the bloody goggles kept falling onto my eyelashes) and a wet patch down my front (I’d missed my mouth trying to rinse and spit with numb lips).

So, less 50 Shades of Grey and more 50 Shades of No Way!

20 thoughts on “Open Wide…

  1. I remember going into a bar shortly after a few fillings and ordering a drink from a really attractive barmaid. Attempting my best, suave, debonaire, London man-about-town accent, I said: “Mmmf mmm mmmm merrrrrm mumph mumph?”
    I never did get to make her mine 😦

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  2. Oh I love it, your post. I hate and I mean HATE going to the dentist and all mine have been frugally in the past but lovely people. Perhaps I should be hypnotized into thinking they look like Mr Darcy. Now that would be a treat and I would willingly open my mouth wide for that. Colin Firth that is. I think I need to be hypnotized just to sit in the chair first though. That rotten drill…

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  3. So your experience at the end is exactly the experience I have when I am trying on shorts in a changing room. My mind wanders to those beachy models with their never ending, smoothly shaven golden legs. Then I turn around…and look into the mirror. Whose stubbly, white blancmange pins are those?!?

    LOL. Loved this. Thanks for the laugh!
    #TweensTeensBeyond

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  4. He rubbed your lip slowly with his thumb?? Good grief. That sounds pretty memorable. Anyway they say first impressions count so I’m sure the hair and makeup look that you arrived with is the one that will stick in his mind! #TeensTweensBeyond

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  5. With a dentist like that, I think I’d be eating candy all day and not brushing my teeth afterwards on purpose! Hey, more time in the chair means more time to stare, right?
    #TweensTeensBeyond

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  6. How funny! I have just had a brace removed at the grand old age of 50 and spent way too much time in my dentist’s chair and despite his alluring nature am glad if I don’t see him for a while! Thanks for making my Friday morning and for joining us again. #TweensTeensBeyond

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