Today I was at the dentist for a filling. My dentist is young, gorgeous and always up for a bit of a chat; so returning for a filling isn’t as bad as it would be if he was ancient and brusque with bad breath and smelly armpits.
He very gently inserted the anaesthetic needle, then chatted to me while it took effect. Now, for some reason it wasn’t working as well as he’d anticipated – so more time leaning over and peering into my eyes mouth was required. Shame about the sci-fi goggles I’d been forced to wear – not a good look under any circumstances, and certainly not aiding my attempts to look alluring.
Was very glad I was lying down when at one point – without warning – to check if the anaesthetic had finally been successful, he slowly stroked the length of my entire lower lip with his thumb. And I mean very…very…slowly. I was suddenly plunged into my very own, private version of 50 Shades of Grey…
Finally my mouth was numb, and he proceeded with the filling; while I gazed up at him, hoping he wasn’t smearing my carefully applied make-up. Eventually he finished. I sat up to be relieved of the goggles and very fetching plastic bib, then tried to rinse and spit as elegantly as possible. I got out of the chair, picked up my coat, smiled (stopped short of winking) and left.
Coming out of his surgery I caught sight of myself in the wall mirror: hair all over the place (rubbing against the back of the chair had caused it to fall out of the clip), smudged mascara (my eyes had watered because the bloody goggles kept falling onto my eyelashes) and a wet patch down my front (I’d missed my mouth trying to rinse and spit with numb lips).
So, less 50 Shades of Grey and more 50 Shades of No Way!
Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas 
I remember going into a bar shortly after a few fillings and ordering a drink from a really attractive barmaid. Attempting my best, suave, debonaire, London man-about-town accent, I said: “Mmmf mmm mmmm merrrrrm mumph mumph?”
I never did get to make her mine 😦
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No doubt you were dribbling as well…never a good look lol!
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There may have been a little moistness in and around the lip area yes. But hey, that doesn’t make me a bad person! …does it? *worries* 😦
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Not at all my dear, not at all… *winks*
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Oh I love it, your post. I hate and I mean HATE going to the dentist and all mine have been frugally in the past but lovely people. Perhaps I should be hypnotized into thinking they look like Mr Darcy. Now that would be a treat and I would willingly open my mouth wide for that. Colin Firth that is. I think I need to be hypnotized just to sit in the chair first though. That rotten drill…
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Oooh Colin Firth as Mr Darcy! Definitely the best – that wet shirt scene will never be topped. Maybe I’ll suggest a wet shirt to my dentist next time I go; maybe I’ll wear a wet shirt myself… This imagination of mine just won’t behave itself lol!
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So your experience at the end is exactly the experience I have when I am trying on shorts in a changing room. My mind wanders to those beachy models with their never ending, smoothly shaven golden legs. Then I turn around…and look into the mirror. Whose stubbly, white blancmange pins are those?!?
LOL. Loved this. Thanks for the laugh!
#TweensTeensBeyond
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OMG! Don’t get me started on pasty, white legs!!! I have a red bathing costume that makes me look like Catherine Zeta Jones…in my head. I avoid mirrors at all cost while wearing it! Lol! Glad I made you laugh, thanks 🙂
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That made me giggle! We’ve all been there with the goggles and the dribble. That’s why I always opt for a woman or an old boy!!! Never a dignified session is it! Thanks for linking up for #TweensTeensBeyond. Nicky
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Enjoying it! 🙂
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He rubbed your lip slowly with his thumb?? Good grief. That sounds pretty memorable. Anyway they say first impressions count so I’m sure the hair and makeup look that you arrived with is the one that will stick in his mind! #TeensTweensBeyond
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Yes…he really did! I’m back again in six months so I’ll try not to drool as much next time lol! Thanks for the comment 🙂
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With a dentist like that, I think I’d be eating candy all day and not brushing my teeth afterwards on purpose! Hey, more time in the chair means more time to stare, right?
#TweensTeensBeyond
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Well I’ve certainly upped my visits that’s for sure lol! Thanks for the comment 🙂
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How funny! I have just had a brace removed at the grand old age of 50 and spent way too much time in my dentist’s chair and despite his alluring nature am glad if I don’t see him for a while! Thanks for making my Friday morning and for joining us again. #TweensTeensBeyond
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He’d have to look like Colin Firth as Mr Darcy, coming out of the lake in his wet shirt to take your mind off that lol!
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Haha I think we can all relate to this! The dentist is not the place to look glamorous! Plus you end up slurring because your mouth won’t work properly so no witty conversation either!! Thanks so much for joining us at #TweensTeensBeyond, we really value your support.
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I’m enjoying it! Thanks for the Tweet 🙂
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If he ever has to sedate you, you might reveal too much!
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Indeed… 🙂
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