Eldest asked if his girlfriend could join us for the evening meal. We were having chilli – not a meal I’d have chosen; doesn’t really show off my culinary skills. I feel it’s important to let girlfriends know what standards my boys are used to at meal times – and it’s NOT ‘pop, pop, ping’!
To make up for this I added a few extra accompaniments: salad, guacamole, salsa and sour cream. Then I made a pudding.
Girlfriend arrived. I took husband and boys to one side and told them (in hushed tones) under no circumstances were they to ask, ‘What’s going on? We don’t normally have salad, guacamole and salsa with chilli! What’s with the yoghurt, and how come you’ve suddenly made a pudding?’
Smirks Smiles were exchanged over the table but on the whole I thought I’d got away with it; that is until youngest loudly demanded,
“Why have we suddenly got music on and candles out? We don’t usually have music on and candles out for a normal meal. It’s not Friday or Saturday! Mum, why have you put music on and got candles out?”
Translation: Darling, thanks for noticing the addition of music and candles to our evening meal. It’s good to know you appreciate the finer things in life…
Now be quiet, eat your meal and leave me alone to impress your brother’s @&$%*#@ girlfriend!!