Not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin!

Here’s the second poem I’ve written from my poetry challenge. The topic suggested was ‘prickly facial hair’ from Kooky Chic

Enjoy!

A funny poem about body hair, from midlife humour blogger Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

Please tell me why in middle-age
My hairs have reached a bonkers stage?
The ones up top are falling out,
From stranger places they now sprout.

Upon my knuckles, knees and toes
And even from inside my nose.
They’re on my chin for goodness sake,
I’m pretty cross make no mistake!

The little buggers stand out proud,
Together huddled in a crowd.
Thick and prickly there to see,
And pretty gross as you’ll agree.

Removal cream has no effect;
Those blasted hairs have no respect.
And when I get the tweezers out,
“Don’t make me laugh!” I hear them shout.

So now I have a whiskery chin,
And random stubble on my skin.
The hair upon my upper lip
Is long enough to need a clip!

It’s thinning out in other places;
Where was hair there now are spaces.
Eyebrows, head and down below –
The balding spots just grow and grow.

My nether regions are receding,
Stylish wig I’ll soon be needing.
No more need for fancy waxing,
Where it’s gone is truly taxing!

My brows are scraggy, thin and flat,
No longer luscious, full and fat.
I’ve had to learn to draw them in,
No wonder that I’ve turned to gin!

The hairdresser has had enough,
To cope with me it must be tough.
She tries to pull the hair across,
And lets me quietly mourn its loss.

I smile into her mirrored wall,
I really don’t look bad at all.
My fringe is full, the gap has gone;
I’M FAB WITHOUT MY GLASSES ON!

So how do YOU feel about your hair in midlife?

24 thoughts on “Not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin!

  1. Ha ha LOVE IT! V funny… I can recommend a couple of products to help some of those issues btw….one is a big fat drink, or smoke, or both….maybe some chocolate…ermmm…I’ve heard pig fat can help

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  2. It was pointed out to me yesterday that I have the longest white hair in my eyebrow that my kids have ever seen. One even took a snap chat photo before I could stop her so now that’s flying around the universe. I’m worried about those hairs I can’t actually see but I’m too scared to put my glasses on when I look in the mirror in case I have a heart attack. Love your work xx

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  3. oh gosh I am not looking forward to that! Brilliantly written though, I am hopeless at rhyming well done! #TweensTeensBeyond

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  4. My chin has escaped so far (touch wood) but what I hate more than anything is the eyebrows. Where the hell have they gone? Surely it can’t be just down to over zealous plucking! I mourn their loss every day. You have really found a niche with your midlife poetry – keep it up! #TweensTeensBeyond

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  5. Oh I love the bit about the glasses! I walk around in blissful ignorance for weeks and then catch sight of myself in a mirror when I happen to have my reading glasses on and I’m horrified by what I find!! Thanks so much for sharing at #TweensTeensBeyond

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