Merry Fa La La-ing Christmas!

In an unscheduled break from my elves, I’ve come over all poetic again!

Sing this out loud to the tune – you know you want to!A funny Christmas poem, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Stressed out mum’s not feeling jolly
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Grumpy teens won’t put their phones down
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Dad’s about to have a meltdown
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Get the cat out of the tree
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Give poor mum a gin – or three
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Aunt Joan’s farting like a trooper
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Dad’s now in a drunken stupor
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Sprouts are soggy, turkey’s chewy
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Gravy’s lumpy, mash is gluey
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Carrots welded to the roaster
Fa la la la la la la la la la!
Who shoved parsnips in the toaster?
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Little Timmy’s nose is pouring
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Bread sauce spilt has ruined the flooring
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Pigs in blankets burnt and crispy
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Cousin Mabel’s found the whiskey
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Christmas pudding’s soaked in brandy
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Toddler’s sick from eating candy
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Uncle Norman’s started swearing
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Can’t believe what Aunt Vi’s wearing
Fa la la la la la la la la!

She’s proclaimed she is a singer
Fa la la la la la la la la!
But she looks more like a swinger
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Grandad’s getting drunk and lairy
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Gran’s false teeth are on the fairy
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Legs being humped by naughty Rover
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Mum’s pretending to be sober
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Looking round at all the faces
Fa la la la la la la la la la!
Loving kisses and embraces
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Family’s what makes Christmas dear
Fa la la la la la la la la!
At SOMEONE ELSE’S please, next year!
FA LA LA LA LAA…. LA LA LA L’AARRGH!!

18 thoughts on “Merry Fa La La-ing Christmas!

  1. Oh that was an hilarious take on the holidays in such cheery song, lol! I see parodies like these all the time and I wish I could do it but I’ll leave it to you professionals:) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! #TweensTeensBeyond

    Like

  2. Pingback: Merry Fa La La-ing Christmas! -

  3. Well I managed to avoid a lot of this by going away for Christmas this year but it all sounds horribly familiar. Looking forward to reading more of your fab poetry in 2018. Thanks so much for your continued support of #TweensTeensBeyond xx

    Like

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