I’m in the mood to fumble…

A funny poem about sex from humour blogger, Midlife Dramas in PyjamasJim:
I’m in the mood to fumble, love.
Rose:
Well how can I refuse?
You make it sound so tempting,
But I can’t disturb my snooze.

Jim:
What about a quickie then?
Rose:
Hmm, lovely though that sounds –
I’m off to meet the girls tonight;
It’s quiz night at The Hounds.

Jim:
Slow and sexy love making?
A big romantic sweep?
Rose:
Only problem there Jim is,
You always fall asleep!

Jim:
Well how about a bit of rough,
Laid prone across the table?
Rose:
Where’s your health and safety Jim?
You know the legs aren’t stable!

Jim:
I know! We’ll do it in a field,
A bit of love ‘al fresco’.
Rose:
Good God! I’d rather do it in
The freezer aisle at Tesco!

Jim:
The car then – snuggled in the back?
Rose:
Well now you’ve lost the plot!
My menopausal flushes Jim
Will make the car too hot!

Jim:
The bath? I’ll go and pour it now –
My best idea by miles.
Rose:
Oh no the water might slosh out
And splash the mosaic tiles!

Jim:
The shower then? Yes that will work
Rose:
The cubicle’s too small!
My glasses will get broken with
My face squashed up the wall!

Jim:
Well shall I go and buy some gear,
Some gadgets and some toys?
Rose:
The neighbours will complain though Jim,
Those things make too much noise!

Jim:
Let’s try a new position then
They’re not just for the young.
Rose:
And risk our brand new mattress Jim?
Don’t think it’s that well sprung!

Jim:
So how about some role-play games?
I’ll wear a cape and mask.
Rose:
That’s preferable to last time Jim –
Black stockings and a basque!

Jim:
Right! Sod it! I’m off to the pub!

2 thoughts on “I’m in the mood to fumble…

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