Are you a hoarder?!

A funny blog post about being a hoarder, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasThe worst hoarder in our house is my hubby. Everything I want to chuck out, he wants to keep…in the garage…just in case.

Just in case what??

Just in case there’s suddenly a national shortage of biscuit tins with damaged lids, empty dried fruit tubs, chunks of polystyrene, dried up tins of paint, bins full of wood and surplus shelf widgets from Ikea furniture??

If there is ever such a shortage, he will most certainly swing into action and save the day.

Until then – chuck it in the @£$%ing bin!!!

Do you live with a hoarder, or are YOU the hoarder?

The BIG Clean Up After Christmas!

A funny blog post about cleaning nup after Christmas, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

The big clean up after Christmas should take me, at most, a morning. How long does it usually take me? A full day.

Why? Because every time I go into a bedroom to clean it, I have to flop onto the bed and have a loll while I’m there. Keep on reading!!

Merry Fa La La-ing Christmas!

In an unscheduled break from my elves, I’ve come over all poetic again!

Sing this out loud to the tune – you know you want to!A funny Christmas poem, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Stressed out mum’s not feeling jolly
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Grumpy teens won’t put their phones down
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Dad’s about to have a meltdown
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Get the cat out of the tree
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Give poor mum a gin – or three
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Aunt Joan’s farting like a trooper
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Dad’s now in a drunken stupor
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Sprouts are soggy, turkey’s chewy
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Gravy’s lumpy, mash is gluey
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Carrots welded to the roaster
Fa la la la la la la la la la!
Who shoved parsnips in the toaster?
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Little Timmy’s nose is pouring
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Bread sauce spilt has ruined the flooring
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Pigs in blankets burnt and crispy
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Cousin Mabel’s found the whiskey
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Christmas pudding’s soaked in brandy
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Toddler’s sick from eating candy
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Uncle Norman’s started swearing
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Can’t believe what Aunt Vi’s wearing
Fa la la la la la la la la!

She’s proclaimed she is a singer
Fa la la la la la la la la!
But she looks more like a swinger
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Grandad’s getting drunk and lairy
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Gran’s false teeth are on the fairy
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Legs being humped by naughty Rover
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Mum’s pretending to be sober
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Looking round at all the faces
Fa la la la la la la la la la!
Loving kisses and embraces
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Family’s what makes Christmas dear
Fa la la la la la la la la!
At SOMEONE ELSE’S please, next year!
FA LA LA LA LAA…. LA LA LA L’AARRGH!!

This Way or Segway?

A funny blog poat about attempting segways, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasLast weekend we decided to go and do a ‘family’ activity. The choice – from the teens – was Segways. What?! Exactly…

Naturally the teens took to it like ducks to water; their parents were more like two Old English Sheepdogs that had inadvertently fallen into a pond. Keep on reading!

I Dreamed a Dream…

A funny blog post about wanting peace and quiet, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasHusband was out for the day on Sunday, so I had sheer joy of going to watch two football matches back to back. Yay…

Came back exhausted. Amazing how standing at the side of a pitch doing nothing completely tires you out. Maybe it’s having to make idle chit-chat with parents you’re only on nodding terms with. I could’ve just stood next to them in silence, but we all know that’s impossible for a woman.

On return home decided I deserved a large gin & tonic in the back garden – sun was out so it would’ve been rude not to. I was going to wear my sunglasses, read my book, chill out and enjoy a bit of peace & quiet. For half an hour. That’s all. Keep on reading!

Know What I MEME? – Teenagers

Funny MEMES about teenagers, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas n PyjamasHere’s the second instalment of my funny MEMES.

In my defence I have two teenagers, and adore them both, but you know…

You might need a tissue for the last one  🙂 Keep on reading!

Just call me Hyacinth…

A funny blog post about having the teenage son's girlfriend round for a meal, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasEldest asked if his girlfriend could join us for the evening meal. We were having chilli – not a meal I’d have chosen; doesn’t really show off my culinary skills. I feel it’s important to let girlfriends know what standards my boys are used to at meal times – and it’s NOT ‘pop, pop, ping’!  Keep on reading!

Football Fun Day – NOT!

A funny blog post about enduring a football fun day, from Midlife Dramas in PyjamasYoungest son’s football team had a ‘Fun Day’ last weekend, so we loyally went along. As predicted the only fun was had by our son; trying to see how much money he could get out of us – for him and his friend to waste spend on ‘fun’.

The tiniest burgers inside the hugest buns were forced down by the four of us,  extortionately expensive (and not that pleasant) cupcakes were purchased by me and a completely ridiculous amount of tombola tickets were bought by the boys. The lure of possibly winning a bottle of shampoo, a tiny bar of chocolate, a crocheted toilet roll cover, a plastic mug with a picture of flowers on it or a toddler’s colouring book was obviously too great.  Keep on reading!

Mustn’t complain…we’re British!

A funny blog post about not complaining by Midlife Dramas in PyjamasWent out for a walk and snack lunch, with hubby and one of the teens. Turned out to be one of the worst lunches I’ve ever had. Nothing to do with the company – they were lovely. But typically British.

Ordered a goat’s cheese and tomato toastie – Oh. My. God. It arrived looking like a limp, pathetic, anaemic rag. I opened it up – it wasn’t even sealed – and couldn’t believe what I was looking at. Very little I tell you! Very little! I immediately had three issues with said ‘toastie’. Keep on reading!