Spent all day Saturday making the pudding for a dinner party we were going to. Theme was 1970s so I’d decided my pudding was going to be Black Forest something. I just didn’t have a clue what the ‘something’ would be…It took FOUR attempts!
First attempt: individual Black Forest gateau. Individual I tell you! I didn’t rate the sponge; it was too dry and like forcing several cream crackers round your mouth with no access to water Keep on reading!
I go out for a little drink,
And come back home flushed slightly pink.
I spend the next day ill in bed,
With tummy ache and pounding head!
I stagger round – a shade of green,
Being smirked at by the righteous teen.
Pretending that it’s just a bug,
Whilst clinging to my coffee mug.
Will someone kindly tell me please,
Why drinking brings me to my knees?
And why that now I’m 50 plus,
My body has become a wuss?
This midlife nonsense is a curse,
This new intolerance the worst.
It seems that now I’m middle-aged,
My coping gene has disengaged!
Dry hair, hot flushes, bulging waist,
And in my mouth a funny taste.
I need some respite don’t you think?
FOR GOD’S SAKE LET ME HAVE A DRINK!!
Yes…I really am going to do this EVERY day until Christmas Day!
I know! Totally bonkers right?! Hahahaha!
Here’s the first poem I’ve written inspired by my poetry challenge. Someone over on Facebook suggested the idea, ‘Dancing like no-one is looking, then noticing that they ALL are!’
I went out drinking with a friend,
We both knew how the night would end.
Laughter, fun and raucous dancing,
Stopping life from fast advancing.
Dressed in heels and make-up on,
Our fear and inhibitions gone.
We ate a meal – how civilised,
Excitement only just disguised.
A cocktail first and then one more,
We headed off towards the door.
Towards the club where deep within,
Our fantasy would soon begin.
Keep on reading!
Went out with the girls for a karaoke night last week – sing-song and a meal. Never been to one before but had always wanted to try it. Was nervous about finally doing it but thought, ‘I’m in a choir therefore I must be able to sing: I’m going to give it a go.’ Keep on reading!
Went out for cocktails with a friend last week. To say we thoroughly enjoyed the 2 for 1 offers in the local bars is putting it lightly.
We were sitting in the last bar when husbands of two close friends came in. Naturally they came across, offered us another drink, went over to the bar, came back with our drinks then sat down and joined us for the last half hour of the night. Keep on reading!
I often go to the supermarket looking like I’ve been sleeping under a railway bridge for a week: hair scraped up, no make-up, tracksuit bottoms, scruffy trainers, pyjama top (I kid you not) and shapeless cardigan (buttoned up to hide the pyjama top!) Keep on reading!
Disclaimer: We didn’t go to see the film for the sake of the film – we KNOW it’s not a great piece of cinematic loveliness with a thought-provoking plot, deep and meaningful messages and Oscar worthy performances. We went for the whole experience: the food, the drinks, the laughs and a great girls’ night out. Nobody judge us… Keep on reading!
Last Saturday was our girls’ Christmas night out.
Spent morning laying out dress (long-sleeved to cover up flabby armpits), shoes (4″ red patent leather – I kid you not), underwear (including support tights and suck-it-all-in knickers), handbag (large enough to hold Tena lady, reading glasses and earplugs), make-up (thick enough to fill in the wrinkles) and jewellery. Keep on reading!
Went to local pub quiz with the girls – just to reinforce the venue, I did say PUB quiz.
Got there early to stock up on alcohol. Went to bar to order what would be first of several bottles of red wine.
Isn’t that what a pub’s supposed to serve? Wine?
They had two bottles – no, not two bottles behind the bar, and the rest in the cellar – two bottles in the entire pub.
Aghast looks were passed between us. To add insult to injury, one of the bottles we were being offered was half empty. So the reality of the situation was that they had one and a half bottles of red wine – on the entire premises.
I asked how long it had been opened, to which the answer came back, “No idea.” Helpful. “I’d like to taste it please,” I requested.
A glass was produced and a mouthful poured in. Said small amount was tipped into my mouth, registered on my taste buds then promptly spat back out again. Nice vinegar for your chips love, but under no circumstances could that noxious liquid you’re trying to fob us off with be described as red wine.
We ordered g&ts instead, forced down several packets of cheap crisps and came last in the quiz.
We’ve vowed never to set foot in the place again.