Gym Bunny…NOT!

A funny blog ppst abput gping to the gym, from midlife blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasTried the gym again today. Don’t really enjoy it so I’m in and out within the hour; having timed my activities to perfection.

Luckily the machines all come with a Television:

  • bike 5mins – cycling along a pleasant country lane, none of this powering up hills nonsense
  • treadmill 20mins – WALKING…I don’t do running and I don’t do sweating GOOD GOD! Sometimes I have to stay on a bit longer if ‘Lorraine’ hasn’t finished, or if I’m in the middle of texting a friend
  • 5 sets of stomach crunches lifting 10lb. Probably not doing it right. Probably meant to be actually crunching something, rather than just sitting pulling weights up and down – while smiling smugly at everyone else who is running and sweating
  • cross trainer 20mins (5mins forward, 5mins backwards and repeat.) Occasionally I’ve been so engrossed in ‘Homes Under the Hammer’ I’ve forgotten which way I’m going
  • swift exit; sometimes impeded by membership card refusing to let me out.

Not funny!

Came home – resisted temptation to stop and buy a MASSIVE bar of chocolate on the way.

Middle of the afternoon felt a bit peckish. Rummaged through cupboards and found a small bar of cooking chocolate languishing at the back.

Quickly liberated it.

Next time I’ll just buy a massive bar of Galaxy!

There once was a…

I clearly love and enjoy writing poems, so now I’m trying my hand at limericks. Here’s my first one (friends have already asked if it’s autobiographical…😳 🤣)

A funny limerick about a hangover, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

My five favourite words…

a funny blog posts about the gym from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

My five favourite words of the day:

GYM IS CLOSED FOR REFURBISHMENT

😆😂😆

No…that’s not me in the picture. If it was, I wouldn’t have to go to the gym in the first place!

And I certainly wouldn’t be jumping around like that – not unless I wanted to pull every muscle in my body, knacker my knees, put my back out, drop my glasses…and bloody wet myself!

Know What I MEME? – Midlife Malarkey Part 1

Funny MEMES about midlife from the humour blogger, Midlife Dramas in PyjamasHere is part 1 of my MEMES about midlife. I love making MEMES; random thoughts constantly pop into my head when I least expect it. I can often be found walking/driving around talking – or indeed laughing – to myself.

I think my sense of humour is great – obviously because it’s mine – I just hope you lovely followers think it’s great too lol! (Yes I know using ‘lol’ shows my age. I’ve been told by my teens many times that I’m sad, but hey, I don’t care. I like it. Especially now I know it doesn’t really mean ‘lots of love’. I spent a long time thinking that texts from the builder were rather inappropriate – until I had this explained to me. Turned out that “Your pipework needs attention too lol!” wasn’t actually a sexual innuendo offering me an illicit seeing to in the back of his van!) Keep on reading!

Oh Menopause, Oh Menopause…

A funny poem about the menopause from the humour blogger, Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

(WARNING: please excuse the F Bomb, I felt it necessary for artistic reasons!)

Oh menopause, oh menopause
You’re here at last – woohoo!
And all the things I’ve heard about
I see you’ve brought them too!

Put your feet up, make a brew
I’m told you’re here to stay.
You’re going to change my life I guess,
Well that’s what people say.

I’ve heard that there are lots of things
I’m going to get to meet.
So tell me all about it then,
Hang on I’ll take a seat.

Keep on reading!

Splashing Around – Part 1

A funny blog post about going swimming from blogger, Midlife Dramas in PyjamasSo…swimming. Hmmmm. There’s nothing I like more than a good 30 lengths to start the day – she lied. I go though, because it’s doing me good. I know that, because I’ve been told it is.

Who’d have thought the simple task of swimming a few lengths could be so fraught. But it is, for several reasons…

The Locker

Scenario 1 – Pile everything in, put token in, firmly shut door, walk towards pool and realise I’ve:

a) still got my glasses on

b) still got my watch on

c) still got my flip-flops on

d) still got all three on

Scenario 2 – Pile everything in, put token in, firmly shut door… realise it’s broken as ‘locked’ door swings gaily open again. Token can’t be retrieved. Do I:

a) nip out to reception in bather, scaring all small children en route

b) try to catch eye of unsuspecting attendant – who’ll invariably ignore the middle-aged woman frantically beckoning, shouting ‘coo-ey’ and waving a purse in his direction Keep on reading!

Open Wide…

A funny post about a trip to the dentist from Midlife Dramas in PyjamasToday I was at the dentist for a filling. My dentist is young, gorgeous and always up for a bit of a chat; so returning for a filling isn’t as bad as it would be if he was ancient and brusque with bad breath and smelly armpits. Keep on reading!

“You want me to pee – in that??”

A funny blog post from Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas about providing a sample or the DRWent to doctors. After the initial chit-chat he told me I needed to provide a wee sample, so handed me the tiniest pot he could find and directed me to the toilets. The ‘bottle’ you’re expected to pee in is clearly some kind of joke, which no doubt provided hours of entertainment for the man that designed it. Keep on reading!

OCD Alert!

A funny blog post about OCD, from Midlife Dramas in PyjamasSometimes my OCD sits quietly at the back of my mind with its feet up, drinking a cuppa and reading Hello! magazine. At other times it comes rampaging to the front, waves its arms around in the air like a lunatic and jumps up and down like the Chuckle Brothers on speed.

Today I went to the library; it made an appearance and completely embarrassed me – again.

*for any youths reading this who don’t know what a library is, it’s a place where they stored books for you to borrow. Just imagine that! We actually used to flick real pages instead of flicking a screen. Who knew?*

On stopping the car – in theory – I click the steering wheel into the locked position, put it into gear and check the handbrake is on. Easy? No. In reality I jiggle the steering wheel left and right several times to make sure it’s clicked locked, waggle the gear stick forwards and backwards to within an inch of its life before slipping it into gear, then nearly wrench the handbrake off its fixings to check it’s on – several times.

So engrossed in this activity, I was completely oblivious to a man standing on the footpath, gesticulating to ask if everything was alright.

Out loud I said, “Yes, fine thanks. Been having a few problems with the steering wheel, gear stick and handbrake, but it’s all sorted now. Thanks though.”

In my head I said, ‘No everything is NOT alright. I think there’s a very strong possibility that I am quite probably, most likely, absolutely a … NUTTER!’

I have two eyes…

A funny blog post about a visit to the optician, from Midlife Dramas in PyjamasWent to optician’s to choose frames for new glasses. There’s a huge flaw in the selection system currently in place. The frames on display are just that – display only.

I carefully picked out a few to try on, obviously removing my current glasses to do so – and what did that mean? Exactly. I couldn’t see. I could see my face, and make out that I was wearing glasses, but that’s as far as it went.

The assistant brought me a magnifying mirror – 3″× 3″. Great. I could now see one eye.

Not very helpful for working out whether or not the frames suited me. I intend to wear them on both eyes…