IT SEEMS THE SCRAPHEAP IS FOR ME!

scrapyard-70908_1280Well ladies I’ve been made redundant
Yet my skills are still abundant.
Now that I am 53
It seems the scrapheap is for me!

My role no longer is required
My talents all have been retired.
And yet my skills in life are vast
They’re now and real, not in the past.

I run a house, co-ordinate
Make sure that no-one’s ever late.
I churn out food all made from scratch
And pair the socks to make them match.

I do the ironing with panache
And make packed lunches in a flash.
I send them all to work and school
With stomachs full to give them fuel.

I act as taxi everywhere
Just running teens from here to there.
I do the shopping, plan the meals
Our house is run on well-oiled wheels.

And all of this while fighting flushes
Trying to make it look like blushes.
Battling weight around my middle
And the need to always piddle.

Dried out parts that once were moist
And pelvic floor that needs a hoist.
Hair that once was full and lush
But now is just a thinning bush.

And all of this while smiling freely
Pretending that it’s alright really.
Cleared away for sweet young things
Who still wear fanny pads with wings.

So any CEOs who need
A person who can take the lead.
To organise and juggle tasks
YOU REALLY ONLY HAVE TO ASK!

There once was a…

I clearly love and enjoy writing poems, so now I’m trying my hand at limericks. Here’s my first one (friends have already asked if it’s autobiographical…😳 🤣)

A funny limerick about a hangover, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

The 12 Days of Midlife!

A funny version of the 12 Days of Christmas, by humour blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasOn the first day of midlife my body gave to me – a bumper pack of Tena La-dy

(we should get these free on the NHS you know) Keep on Reading!

MIDLIFE ELF ON THE SHELF!

Midlife Elf on the Shelf Advent Calendar, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasWhy should children’s elves have all the fun?!

You’ll be amazed to see what my Midlife Elf has been up to. On occasion she’s been very, VERY naughty! Lol!

Know What I MEME? – Midlife Malarkey Part 2

So…here is part 2 of my MEMES about midlife. These cover being middle-aged in general, fashion (I use the word in its loosest sense), the menopause and the usual midlife nonsense.

Apologies if you follow me on Facebook and have already seen these. But I doubt you have – at least not every one of them. It all depends on whether your face fits, if you’re in favour, if it’s a slow day for the algorithms, if you’ve made enough comments on my previous posts and if there’s a ‘z’ in the day!

There are an awful lot of ‘ifs’ there!

Enjoy!

A funny MEME about the menopause, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about middle-age, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about midlife from humour blogger, Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about hairstyles from midlife blogger, Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about the menopause from humour blogger, Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about middle-age from humour blogger, Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about middle-age from humour blogger, Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about being forgetfull from humour blogger, Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

Not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin!

Here’s the second poem I’ve written from my poetry challenge. The topic suggested was ‘prickly facial hair’ from Kooky Chic

Enjoy!

A funny poem about body hair, from midlife humour blogger Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

Please tell me why in middle-age
My hairs have reached a bonkers stage?
The ones up top are falling out,
From stranger places they now sprout.

Keep on reading!