Murder on the Dancefloor!

Here’s the first poem inspired by my poetry challenge, from someone over on Facebook: Dancing like no-one is looking, then noticing that they ALL are!

I went out drinking with a friend,
We both knew how the night would end.
Laughter, fun and raucous dancing,
Stopping life from fast advancing.

Dressed in heels and make-up on,
Our fear and inhibitions gone.
We ate a meal – how civilised,
Excitement only just disguised.

A cocktail first and then one more,
We headed off towards the door.
Towards the club where deep within,
Our fantasy would soon begin.

We chose a club that only played
The music from our fave decade.
The 80s (as you know is great),
To hit the floor, we couldn’t wait.

We put our bags down on a chair
And ran our fingers through our hair.
Then sectioned out our bit of space,
Picked up the rhythm of the base.

Around us all the people stood,
Ignoring us – we knew they would.
Two ‘daft old ladies’ trying to dance,
Not even worthy of a glance.

The music pumped right through our veins;
The gloves were off, no more constrains.
We strutted like we didn’t care,
Because we didn’t, to be fair.

Our arms were waved above our heads
(No tea for us, tucked up in bed).
We kicked our legs and twirled around,
At one point lunging to the ground!

We vogued like no-one had before
And absolutely owned the floor.
We danced and tripped the light fantastic,
All our limbs became elastic.

No nerves or tiny steps for us,
Our moves were big and obvious.
We both were on a stage somewhere,
Just grinning, dancing not a care.

The music stopped we clung on tight,
Then laughed out loud, oh what a night!
Our faces glowed, our smiles were wide;
Two friends just standing side by side.

We looked around and saw the youth,
Who maybe struggled with the truth.
Their eyes on stalks,  mouths open wide,
We simply couldn’t hide our pride.

We fetched our bags, and linked our arms,
Then smiled around with grace and charm.
We turned and sauntered off the floor –
Always leave them wanting more.

There’s more to life than just a number,
Never leave your zest to slumber.
Do the things you LOVE to do,
Have fun, have laughs, be bold – BE YOU!

This is based on a night out which my friend and I still smile and laugh about. We’re already looking forward to the next one…

Let me know if you still go out dancing, and do you care if people are watching?

Poetry Challenge!

Sometimes I like to live life on the edge…usually the edge of a family-sized bar of chocolate, a Mojito, a party-sized bag of Walkers Sensations Thai sweet chilli crisps, or a large G&T!

As you’re following my blog you’ll have sussed that I like writing poems. So far I’ve covered: the maxi dress, shampoo, the teenager’s homework, the menopause and incontinence! I’m now trying to think of my next topic, and I suddenly had the idea of asking YOU! Here comes the edge bit…

If you have a suggestion for a poem topic, write it in the comments and I’ll see what I can do.

Over on Facebook they’ve joined in with gusto! Here’s a quick little ditty inspired by the suggestion of ‘menopausal hair’…

There once was a middle-aged lady
Whose hair became wiry and fady.
Out of control
To brush, comb or roll,
She stalked around hatted and shady!

Don’t leave me hanging! If no-one joins in, the only things I’ll be on the edge of are mortification, embarrassment, humiliation and…discombobulation!!

Over to you… 🙂

Dear Bladder…

I’d like to take my body back,
Relinquish your control.
To pick the times I want to pee,
Well, that’s my desperate goal.

You seem to choose the worst of times
To make your presence known.
Dancing, sneezing, laughing and
Wet pants will send me home.

Oh Menopause, Oh Menopause…

(WARNING: please excuse the F Bomb, I felt it necessary for artistic reasons!)

Oh menopause, oh menopause
You’re here at last – woohoo!
And all the things I’ve heard about
I see you’ve brought them too!

Put your feet up, make a brew
I’m told you’re here to stay.
You’re going to change my life I guess,
Well that’s what people say.

I’ve heard that there are lots of things
I’m going to get to meet.
So tell me all about it then,
Hang on I’ll take a seat.

It’s FRIIIIDAAAAYYYY!!

Homework time again…yay!

I’ll help you love, you know I will
It’s what I always do.
We both know I’ll be writing it,
With little work from you.

Shampoo, why do you lie so much?

Shampoo why do you lie so much?
What makes you promise me,
That using you will make my hair
The hair I want to see?

You show me lovely images
Of maidens, oh so fair.
You make me think that I can have
Their lovely, flowing hair.

You say you’ll smooth and clarify
Protect, repair and fix.
Relax, hydrate, defend from breaks
And other clever tricks.

You offer volume, body, height
And all things in between.
And obviously my hair will have
A sleek and glossy sheen.

You’ll make my hair more youthful, and
Keep signs of age at bay.
You’ll fix split ends and somehow change
The texture of the grey.

Shampoo for greasy, frizzy, dry
Or flyaway and fine.
Coloured, curly, straight or flat
But which is right for mine?

I choose one and rush home with glee,
Fling back the shower door.
I wash and dry my hair, and yet –
IT’S STILL LIKE BLOODY STRAW!!!

An Ode to the Maxi Dress

 

Oh maxi dress, oh maxi dress
My favourite style by far.
I wear it all the time you know
In restaurant, shop and bar.

It covers all the things I’ve got
I’d rather not be seen.
I’ll give a few examples
So you’ll know just what I mean.

Pale, white legs that never brown
No matter what I do.
Veins that creep around my shins
A lovely shade of blue.

Hairs so long they’d look ok
On any man I know.
A bum that lost its pertness
And its firmness long ago.

Knees no longer pointing straight
But slipping to the side.
A muffin top and rolls of flab
Are what I’m trying to hide.

I put it on, I stand up tall
And watch it drape around.
All the things kept underneath
Are hidden safe and sound.

So thank you lovely maxi dress
For all the times you’re there.
Even when you’re out of date
It’s you I’ll always wear.