Homework time again…yay!

I’ll help you love, you know I will
It’s what I always do.
We both know I’ll be writing it,
With little work from you.

Shampoo, why do you lie so much?

Shampoo why do you lie so much?
What makes you promise me,
That using you will make my hair
The hair I want to see?

You show me lovely images
Of maidens, oh so fair.
You make me think that I can have
Their lovely, flowing hair.

You say you’ll smooth and clarify
Protect, repair and fix.
Relax, hydrate, defend from breaks
And other clever tricks.

You offer volume, body, height
And all things in between.
And obviously my hair will have
A sleek and glossy sheen.

You’ll make my hair more youthful, and
Keep signs of age at bay.
You’ll fix split ends and somehow change
The texture of the grey.

Shampoo for greasy, frizzy, dry
Or flyaway and fine.
Coloured, curly, straight or flat
But which is right for mine?

I choose one and rush home with glee,
Fling back the shower door.
I wash and dry my hair, and yet –
IT’S STILL LIKE BLOODY STRAW!!!

An Ode to the Maxi Dress

 

Oh maxi dress, oh maxi dress
My favourite style by far.
I wear it all the time you know
In restaurant, shop and bar.

It covers all the things I’ve got
I’d rather not be seen.
I’ll give a few examples
So you’ll know just what I mean.

Pale, white legs that never brown
No matter what I do.
Veins that creep around my shins
A lovely shade of blue.

Hairs so long they’d look ok
On any man I know.
A bum that lost its pertness
And its firmness long ago.

Knees no longer pointing straight
But slipping to the side.
A muffin top and rolls of flab
Are what I’m trying to hide.

I put it on, I stand up tall
And watch it drape around.
All the things kept underneath
Are hidden safe and sound.

So thank you lovely maxi dress
For all the times you’re there.
Even when you’re out of date
It’s you I’ll always wear.