STOP SNORING!!

A funny blog post about a husband snoring, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasThe scene – Husband in bed, on his back, snoring after his night out…

Me: Sweetheart, please turn onto your side – you’re snoring.

H: Ok (lifts arm above head, continues to snore)

Me: Err love, please turn onto your side – you’re snoring.

H: Ok (turns head to one side, continues to snore)

Me: Sweetheart…you have to actually move…onto your side.

H: Ok (moves legs, continues to snore)

Me: (coughing loudly) SWEETHEART! PLEASE TURN ONTO YOUR SIDE…YOU’RE SNORING!

H: Ok (fidgets, turns onto his side then flops onto his back. Continues to snore)

Me: OY! TURN. ONTO. YOUR. SIDE. YOU. ARE. SNORING!!

H: Stop waking me up…I was asleep! (Continues to snore)

Me: (pushing him really hard) FECKING TURN ONTO YOUR SIDE – YOU’RE TWATTING SNORING!

H: Woah! There’s no need for that…you only had to ask!

Black Forest…Something!!

A funny blog post about making a Black Forest pudding, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasSpent all day Saturday making the pudding for a dinner party we were going to. Theme was 1970s so I’d decided my pudding was going to be Black Forest something. I just didn’t have a clue what the ‘something’ would be…It took FOUR attempts!

First attempt: individual Black Forest gateau. Individual I tell you! I didn’t rate the sponge; it was too dry and like forcing several cream crackers round your mouth with no access to water Keep on reading!

I’m NEVER drinking AGAIN! (Until the next time…)

A funny blog post about the midlife hangover, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasI go out for a little drink,
And come back home flushed slightly pink.
I spend the next day ill in bed,
With tummy ache and pounding head!

I stagger round – a shade of green,
Being smirked at by the righteous teen.
Pretending that it’s just a bug,
Whilst clinging to my coffee mug.

Will someone kindly tell me please,
Why drinking brings me to my knees?
And why that now I’m 50 plus,
My body has become a wuss?

This midlife nonsense is a curse,
This new intolerance the worst.
It seems that now I’m middle-aged,
My coping gene has disengaged!

Dry hair, hot flushes, bulging waist,
And in my mouth a funny taste.
I need some respite don’t you think?
FOR GOD’S SAKE LET ME HAVE A DRINK!!

An Apology…

Dear Lovely Readers,

I’m taking a break from blogging for a while. Our lovely family cat was killed on the road last week and I’ve completely lost my mojo. I’m still managing to throw memes at Facebook but I’ve de-activated both my Pinterest and Instagram accounts – I can’t bear seeing the photos of him that I’d uploaded there. Twitter hasn’t held my interest for a while as I’m fed up of being followed by bots selling baby clothes, toys, weaning products and cracked nipple cream!! I’m 51 FFS!!

Anyway…look after yourselves, I’ll be back soon, and keep blogging.

xxx

The BIG Clean Up After Christmas!

A funny blog post about cleaning nup after Christmas, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

The big clean up after Christmas should take me, at most, a morning. How long does it usually take me? A full day.

Why? Because every time I go into a bedroom to clean it, I have to flop onto the bed and have a loll while I’m there. Keep on reading!!

The 12 Days of Midlife!

A funny version of the 12 Days of Christmas, by humour blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasOn the first day of midlife my body gave to me – a bumper pack of Tena La-dy

(we should get these free on the NHS you know) Keep on Reading!