Does my face look good in this?

A funny blog post about buying moisturiser, from Midlife Dramas in PyjamasWent shopping to get new night-time moisturiser. Night-time and day-time?? Won’t one pot do all? Apparently not.

My current pot is two years old and has sat in hot hotel rooms on two annual holidays. That tells you how diligently I use it, and how ineffective it has probably now become.

I’m already using a serum which is supposed to show results within four weeks. I’ve been using it for four months. I’m still waiting for the moment when I look in the mirror and discover that the old hag has been replaced by a dewy faced, glowing beauty. According to the adverts, that’s what should happen.

Pah – not in my mirror…

I scanned the shelves. It was like looking at a wrinkle-o-meter. At the top, creams for skin just starting to think about throwing in the odd wrinkle – ‘the first signs of ageing’. Next down, creams for skin becoming a bit more determined – ‘with fine lines and wrinkles’. Snapping at their heels, creams for skin starting to win the battle – ‘with deep lines and wrinkles’. Bringing up the rear, and lurking on the bottom shelf, creams for skin that hasn’t just said “hello boys” to the wrinkles, but “hello boys, come on in, put your feet up and can I get you a drink?”- ‘more mature skin’.

The issue with storing products at floor level, is how to get down to them. Are you a bender or a squatter? To squat you need good knees, not be desperate for a wee and be able to balance on your toes – while holding a pot of cream. This leaves only one free hand to steady you, when you start to fall over. To bend you need to be flexible, not wear a short skirt and be ready for your bag to swing round from your shoulder, smash itself into you and knock the pot of cream out of your hand.

Creams for us ‘mature’ ladies should be on the top shelf. Let the younger women, who still have the upper hand with their skin, take up a yoga stance to reach down to the floor level shelf. I’m sure they won’t feel dizzy and sway slightly when they stand up straight again.

Bought my cream and headed home. I’ll let you know if the dewy faced, glowing beauty makes an appearance any time soon…