So, today got off to a questionable start. Woke up with craving for toasted teacakes – no I’m not pregnant, alarmingly that was also husband’s first thought. Chose not to ignore craving – which would’ve been wisest course of action. Changed pyjama bottoms for tracksuit bottoms, left pyjama top on, wiped away smudged mascara from under eyes, slipped bare feet into crocks, grabbed a hoodie and drove to the shop. Wore close up glasses instead of distance ones.
Staggered into shop, picked up two packs of teacakes and wandered straight into path of friend’s husband. By time I’d realised who it was I was within speaking distance. Had I worn distance glasses I’d have noticed him early enough to nip down the cold meat aisle and hang out by the salami until he’d left. Instead I had to have a conversation with him whilst going redder and redder at the thought of the state of me.
Why can’t I wake up with the urge for quickie morning sex like other people? Why toasted teacakes?