So…swimming. Hmmmm. There’s nothing I like more than a good 30 lengths to start the day – she lied. I go though, because it’s doing me good. I know that, because I’ve been told it is.
Who’d have thought the simple task of swimming a few lengths could be so fraught. But it is, for several reasons…
Scenario 1 – Pile everything in, put token in, firmly shut door, walk towards pool and realise I’ve:
a) still got my glasses on
b) still got my watch on
c) still got my flip-flops on
d) still got all three on
Scenario 2 – Pile everything in, put token in, firmly shut door… realise it’s broken as ‘locked’ door swings gaily open again. Token can’t be retrieved. Do I:
a) nip out to reception in bather, scaring all small children en route
b) try to catch eye of unsuspecting attendant – who’ll invariably ignore the middle-aged woman frantically beckoning, shouting ‘coo-ey’ and waving a purse in his direction Keep on reading!
Don’t think I’ve quite got hang of going to the gym regularly yet. Popped along today for another visit.
Membership keycard was clearly on my side – it wouldn’t work and refused to let me into the changing room. Went back down four flights of stairs to reception and got new card. It was in collusion with the first one – it wouldn’t work and refused to let me into the changing room.
Traipsed back down to reception. Changed it again. The cards were clearly trying to tell me something (if only I could stop puffing and panting long enough to hear it) as this one also wouldn’t work, and refused to let me into the changing room.
Stomped back down to reception. Member of staff came up and let me in – damn. Said he’d go back to reception and get it sorted. Got changed and headed to the
torture chamber gym.
Card wouldn’t work and refused to let me into the gym.
Crawled back down to reception. Staff member came up and opened the door to let me in. I looked at him aghast, and resisted urge to laugh out loud – just. Told him I’d done today’s workout walking up and down the stairs, and asked him to let me back into the changing room.
I stretched a bit (reached up to my locker), got changed, texted a friend to see if she was free for coffee and left – exhausted.
Went to gym. A new activity I’ve just started, can’t say it’s a welcome addition to my life. Therefore, I’m in and out within the hour – having timed my activities to perfection. Luckily the machines all come with a TV:
– bike 5mins
– treadmill 20mins – sometimes I have to stay on a bit longer if The Cube hasn’t finished, or if I’m in the middle of texting a friend
– 5 sets of 15 stomach crunches lifting 10lb – I know – unbelievable. Probably not doing it right. Probably meant to actually crunch something rather than just pull weights up and down
– cross trainer 20mins (5mins forward, 5mins backwards and repeat – been known on occasion to have been so engrossed in Homes Under the Hammer I’ve forgotten which way I’m going)
– swift exit – sometimes impeded by membership card refusing to let me out.
Came home, resisting temptation to stop and buy massive bar of chocolate on way. Middle of afternoon felt a bit peckish. Rummaged through kids’ sweet store in top cupboard and found a small bar of chocolate languishing at the back. Decided to liberate it.
Should’ve just bought massive one on way home from gym.