I Dreamed a Dream…

A funny blog post about wanting peace and quiet, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasHusband was out for the day on Sunday, so I had sheer joy of going to watch two football matches back to back. Yay…

Came back exhausted. Amazing how standing at the side of a pitch doing nothing completely tires you out. Maybe it’s having to make idle chit-chat with parents you’re only on nodding terms with. I could’ve just stood next to them in silence, but we all know that’s impossible for a woman.

On return home decided I deserved a large gin & tonic in the back garden – sun was out so it would’ve been rude not to. I was going to wear my sunglasses, read my book, chill out and enjoy a bit of peace & quiet. For half an hour. That’s all.

Peace & quiet lasted five minutes.

First my youngest appeared, asking if he and his tribe of friends could traipse through the house to the garage for ice lollies. Obviously I had to supervise: shoes off, front door not abandoned wide open, freezer lid firmly closed. As opposed to: muddy shoes through the house, a wind tunnel hurtling down the hall, and the freezer lid left up thawing all the food quicker than you can say, “Shut the bloody lid!”

Settled myself back down then eldest appeared, asking if I had any change for his bus fare. Obviously he was incapable of finding my purse – on the dresser under his nose. He’d walked right past it to get to me.

Had just returned to my sunny spot when Cantankerous Cat appeared, demanding to be fed. Obviously I was the only one qualified to do this; everyone else had suddenly gone deaf, hadn’t noticed her pacing around, had no idea where we kept the cat food and probably didn’t even realise we owned a cat.

Took off my sunglasses, put down my gin, closed my book and waved goodbye to my dream of a few minutes peace and quiet.

Couldn’t believe it…I’d been sitting behind the wall, round the corner of the house, with my legs tucked in, in absolute silence…

…and they’d still ALL FOUND ME!!

What’s your favourite view?

A funny blog post about favourite views, from Midlife Dramas in PyjamasSomeone on Twitter asked people to post a picture of their favourite view.

Here’s mine…

Craggy hillsides, a peaceful lake and two beautiful twisted old trees. All illuminated by a breath-taking sunset.

And by that I mean rocky ice cubes, a sea of gin about to cause havoc, and two beautiful bendy new straws. All illuminated by a breath-taking candle in an underground gin bar.

Cheers!

What’s your favourite view?

Cheers! Oops!

A funny blog post about a night out from Midlife Dramas in PyjamasMet a friend last night for dinner at new gin bar & restaurant. Huge list of gins served in goldfish bowls on stems – lush. All come with various adornments floating in them: peel, flavoured beans and fruit. Loved the idea of the previous three but drew the line at flower petals – don’t really want shrubbery floating in my drink. Thanks.

Picked a table in the window – had decided this was the bar to be seen in. Tables were all high with tall stools. ‘How trendy and cutting edge’ I thought, until I tried to sit down – in my short tight dress. My unfortunate choice of outfit allowed nowhere near the amount of movement and flexibility required to haul myself up onto the stool. And if I’d thought I could manage it with my dignity intact, I was sadly mistaken. Friend found this extremely amusing. Wearing her much more suitable skinny jeans she’d mounted her stool with grace, elegance and panache. Had she been forewarned?!

At the end of the evening bitterly regretted choosing a table in the window. Yes, this was the bar to be seen in – sitting demurely sipping gin, nibbling on the stylish hors d’oeuvres and politely acknowledging my friend’s jokes with tinkly, sophisticated laughter.

However, this was not the bar to be seen in when trying to climb down from the stool, getting my heel caught on the crossbar, missing my footing and slinging gin everywhere!

Really? Oh yes…