Darling, do you think the supermarket will stock…

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My husband likes to cook. At the weekend he likes to read a broadsheet newspaper. And he particularly likes to combine the two – by using recipes he finds in the broadsheet’s magazine. The recipes invariably contain somewhat ‘out there’ ingredients: French rock salt in a dinky, stylish, expensive jar as opposed to table salt in a massive, plastic, economy tub.

Last night I was writing the weekly shopping list. Husband was reading the broadsheet magazine. He looked up. I knew what was coming, “Do you think the supermarket will sell quinces and malt powder?”

I went to said supermarket today. Did they stock these two items? No they did not. I looked around for replacements, and did the best I could.

I bought him an apple and some Horlicks…