Let’s talk about our knickers girls,
I really think we should.
We’ll cover all the different types:
The ugly, bad and good.
We’ll start with silly scraps of lace,
That look more like a doyly.
The sort that’s meant to tantalise,
When taken off so slowly.
You know the ones; they itch like mad –
All frilly bits and bows.
Leave them where they do less harm –
In shops, arranged in rows.
Keep on reading!
Have decided will no longer be wearing my big ‘squeeze it all in’ knickers. Think they might be why I feel a little queasy at the end of girls’ nights out. No, the number of cocktails consumed has absolutely nothing to do with it.
Big ‘squeeze it all in’ knickers are great in theory but in reality, I ask you, where does all the flab actually go?
It would be great to think it was going to be pushed up into my bra to give me a decent pair of boobs, but alas no. It actually does two things – neither of which is the slightest bit helpful. The flab squeezed up and out of the top of the knickers settles in a roll just below my bra, making me look like Hattie Jacques in Carry on Matron. The flab squeezed down and out of the bottom of the knickers settles in a roll across my thighs, making me look like a Russian shot putter that’s gone to seed.
The overall look is of a doughnut with an elastic band round its middle.
Not a look I’ll be chasing anymore. In future, if I’m feeling a little queasy at the end of a girls’ night out, I’ll have to come up with another excuse for the cause of it.