The 12 Days of Midlife!

A funny version of the 12 Days of Christmas, by humour blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasOn the first day of midlife my body gave to me – a bumper pack of Tena La-dy

(we should get these free on the NHS you know)

On the second day of midlife my body gave to me – 2 painful boobs

(don’t hug me, don’t touch me, don’t come anywhere near me)

On the third day of midlife my body gave to me – 3 wobbly arms

(seriously, it’s like bloody jelly)

On the fourth day of midlife my body gave to me – 4 tubes of lube

(If you have to ask what it’s for you’re not middle-aged yet)

On the fifth day of midlife my body gave to me – 5…whis…kery….chins

(I’m seriously going to have to start shaving)

On the sixth day of midlife my body gave to me – 6 murderous thoughts

(nobody is safe I tell you…NOBODY)

On the seventh day of midlife my body gave to me – 7 varicose veins

(Yes and they’re ALL on the same leg)

On the eighth day of midlife my body gave to me – dry frizzy hair

(the number 8 doesn’t fit – don’t be picky)

On the ninth day of midlife my body gave to me – 9 flabby bellies

(dear god in heaven – when is that going to go?)

On the tenth day of midlife my body gave to me – 10 sleepless nights

(I now make the walking dead look good)

On the eleventh day of midlife my body gave to me – 11 flaming flushes

(somebody clearly took me seriously when I said I wanted to be ‘hot’ after 50)

On the twelfth day of midlife my body gave to me…sorry, what was I saying?

(Do I know you?)

Oh yes…On the twelfth day of midlife my body gave to me:

12 something or others
11 flaming flushes
10 sleepless nights
9 flabby bellies
dry frizzy hair
7 varicose veins
6 murderous thoughts

5 whis…kery… chins….

4 tubes of lube
3 wobbly arms
2 painful boobs
and a bumper pack of Tena La-dy!!!

HAPPY MIDLIFE CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

SEE YOU IN THE NEW YEAR FOR MORE MIDLIFE MALARKEY! 🙂

Know What I MEME? – Midlife Malarkey Part 2

So…here is part 2 of my MEMES about midlife. These cover being middle-aged in general, fashion (I use the word in its loosest sense), the menopause and the usual midlife nonsense.

Apologies if you follow me on Facebook and have already seen these. But I doubt you have – at least not every one of them. It all depends on whether your face fits, if you’re in favour, if it’s a slow day for the algorithms, if you’ve made enough comments on my previous posts and if there’s a ‘z’ in the day!

There are an awful lot of ‘ifs’ there!

Enjoy!

A funny MEME about the menopause, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about middle-age, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about midlife from humour blogger, Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about hairstyles from midlife blogger, Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about the menopause from humour blogger, Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about middle-age from humour blogger, Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about middle-age from humour blogger, Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

A funny MEME about being forgetfull from humour blogger, Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

This Way or Segway?

A funny blog poat about attempting segways, from humour blogger Midlife Dramas in PyjamasLast weekend we decided to go and do a ‘family’ activity. The choice – from the teens – was Segways. What?! Exactly…

Naturally the teens took to it like ducks to water; their parents were more like two Old English Sheepdogs that had inadvertently fallen into a pond. Keep on reading!

“On the fifth day of Christmas, the dress shop gave to me…”

A funny blog post about trying to find the perfect party dress, from Midlif Dramas in PyjamasWell, it’s that time of year again – the ‘hunt down a couple of  dresses for the party season’ time of year. Or as I like to call it – the ‘cross my fingers and hope I find something that doesn’t make me look like mutton dressed as lamb, has an air of Catherine Zeta Jones about it (as opposed to an air of desperation), and doesn’t cost the earth’ time of year. Keep on reading!