Amusing conversation this morning:
Teenager (heading towards the front door): What’s for tonight’s meal?
Me (waving goodbye from the kitchen): Vegetable curry.
Teenager (swivelling round and hurtling back down the hall with alarming speed): Vegetable curry? VEGETABLE curry? Why are we having vegetable curry?
Me (wiping the table, head down hiding the smile): Because it’s not good to eat meat every day. It’s good to have just vegetables occasionally.
Teenager (starting to panic): So is it curry with JUST vegetables? Literally JUST vegetables? No meat AT ALL?
Me (smiling openly): Correct.
Teenager (using dramatic hand gestures and pacing around the kitchen): But we have vegetables WITH meals EVERY day. We don’t need a meal of JUST vegetables!
Me (walking into the utility room): Our bodies need a rest from digesting meat every day.
Teenager (following, voice rising): Who told you that?? Is that some kind of warped joke? Please put some meat in it. I can’t believe it, that’ll be horrible! It can’t just have vegetables in it. I’m not eating it. You can’t make me eat it. You can eat it. It’ll be disgusting mind. I’ll make something else for my meal…blah blah blah
Me (emptying the washer, glancing over my shoulder): I’m sorry, are you still talking? Darling, you need to go or you’ll be late for school.
Teenager (wild-eyed and stomping back to the front door): I can’t believe it! Why would you do this to me? It’s just not right. It’s…(leaving the house, with a little help from me)
Me (closing the door): Bye sweetheart. Have a nice day.
Headed upstairs, musing about tonight’s meal – Maybe I should present it as a picture, like I used to when they were little: The Mona Lisa Madras, The Poppy Field Pasanda or maybe The Sunflowers Sag Aloo? *laughed to self and tutted* Unfortunately my skills in the field of art are as advanced as my tolerance in the field of pandering to fussy teenagers. So my efforts would end up more like a Masala Mush, a Balti Blob or – if they’re really lucky – a Dhansak Dollop.
Came back downstairs, made a cup of coffee, switched on computer and typed into Google – ‘Vegetable meals with no meat in them WHATSOEVER…’